Just need a drink
by Alfie und Micky
Summary: What if they just needed a drink and everything would fall into place... well not exactly. Elliot/Olivia
1. Chapter 1

Elliot hugs the warm woman in his bed as he smiles and runs his hand down the soft skin of her back laughing a bit as he pushes her atop of him and kisses her with his eyes shut as he knows it is early morning in New York and he just wants to stay in bed all day but after kissing her and hearing her laughter he deduces that the woman naked in his bed is not his wife and dreads in which stranger it could be as he opens his eyes.

Last night comes rushing back but not the obvious part in how he ended up naked in his partner's bed, they had just solve an especially troublesome case and after decided to go drinking at a bar but apart from that he could not fathom how drunk he would have been to jump in bed with Olivia Benson his best friend and almost life long partner except for him wife.

It had been two months since that very awkward incident and Olivia had left the unit again for a desk job and then had returned just two days ago as he took full responsibility for her terrible leave after he had accused her of seducing him right after the incident and she had left after she had felt both betrayed by the person she trusted most and enraged that he would say something like that to her.

They now just worked the cases they had with out really being there, they did not make small talk to each other except about the job and then they just went home. All the time think about how they could fix this big mess, they missed each others company and not just having each other there as partners but as friends.

Of course Elliot once again shared his room with several bunks in the crib as his wife had not exactly found out but she knew something was up with him and refused him to sleep in the bed and he didn't want to sleep on the couch spending every waking moment getting the third degree from his wife. There was nothing to tell her any way, well nothing he could tell her as he did not have a memory of the night except before and afters, in the latter he had acted like a right old jerk about it all.

Elliot lay awake as he did not wonder about his wife but of his friend Olivia, he wondered if she to lay awake maybe even crying as he had almost accused her of rape by the way he had yelled to her about it like she had controlled his body into her bed when he knew that was of course not the way it had gone down. He knew he had feeling for Olivia that he should for his wife but did not through these past few years, he would never admit it, not for the good of his children but he also wondered if his wife loved him like he could not her and wondered if it was slowly killing her inside.

How could things have gone so wrong in a matter of hours but then he thought he should be looking for some kind of solution instead, something to make up for all of that in which he had done. He knew that this solution came with a price and not every one would be happy with it but he had to face up to the sins he had committed.

He almost forgot how he had turned up in front of Olivia's door as he was so tired from every thing pulling at him and he had to face it before it pulled him into a hole he could not pull himself out of and right now he had no one who could pull him out of dark places because it had always been her. It used to be his wife long ago but now it was Olivia who carried him when he could not walk and he even knew that she would do it even now and that was why he needed to do this he thought as he finally knock on the door three times and waited for her as he was wrapped up in thought.

Olivia open the door blindly and she soon froze when she saw who it was, she didn't know what he was here for, she didn't know how she would respond to what he did any way and wondered if she would just freeze like this moment as she felt so weak in his presents.

"Can I come in," he asks softy gesturing to the apartment as they share eye contact for a brief moment before she let him entre.

"I thought this was the last place you'd be, besides El I might seduce you," she defensively accused him as she tried to beat the feeling of weakness.

"Liv that's what I came to talk about, I wanted to say I apologise about every thing I put on you. You always seem to be picking up my messes," he admitted to her as he put his hands in his front pockets.

Olivia just processed what he said silently as she just looked into his eyes that told her he was being truthful and was really sorry as he explained more about his thoughts to her.

"I just denied to myself what had happened because I don't really remember it and I was hiding from something that we should have been facing together, instead I made you face it alone and I am sorry," he continued to her.

She watched him, studied his features as she saw dark lines under his eye and wondered if he had even been home as he was wearing the same cloths and then wondered if he had had something to eat as she was just about to eat dinner before he had come and she herself was also hungry.

"Do you want something to eat," she asked him as he gave her a confused look as to why she had asked such a random question but then again could not fight the feeling of hunger that only grew at the mention of food.

He silently agreed as she decided to serve him and herself up some pasta in two white ceramic plates handing him one as she received a small smile from him, she too smiled as she had missed that same smile for what had seemed an eternity now.

"Why'd you make so much?" he asked to her as they then went to the couch and ate as they had both missed just talking with out any strings attached, just pointless banter.

"I dunno," she lied to him as she didn't know how to tell him and hoped he quickly dropped the matter, up until just a minute ago she was deciding not to tell him. She had no idea how he would have responded to the news and would just tell him she had met someone after there encounter but now she knew she must tell him although she had no idea how. It had been a massive shock to her when she had found out and confirmed it but instantly she had except it and planed to love the child that grew in her stomach this second.

They ate in relative silence like it was so natural for them to do, no words were needed now and she knew that he knew she forgave him, they were the closest of friends she would forgive him in an instant. Even without an apology she would forgive all that he had said and done, it was like every moment they shared this connection with one another almost sharing the same consciousness.

She had finished before him and now sat on her couch with her upper legs to her chest as he abruptly asked to use the bathroom and wordlessly rose as he knew exactly where it was.

Olivia did not realize that she had left the pregnancy test somewhere in the bathroom until it was to late and the lock on the bathroom door slid into place and she silently panicked, she was going to tell him but she just didn't want him to find out like this she thought as she racked her brown hair back with both hands and theorized breaking down her own door before she thought he would probably want an answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

She just went to her room as she sat on her comfortable bed waiting for him to come to her expecting answers when he knew the answer already. She didn't know how she was going to break it to him but she didn't want him finding out like this, hell if he wasn't already married he'd probably ask her to marry him.

"Olivia?" he asked as he walked around the apartment a bit before finding her in her bedroom.

Olivia just waited for the dreaded questioning to come but after a few second of waiting he said nothing to her and then she wondered if it truly was in the bathroom or somewhere else around the apartment.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked to her as she had her eyes closed for a few second when he had came in.

"Ah never mind sorry," she said as she stood and went out to the lounge again and sat down on the couch as he stood and she herself also stood again to get a lemon, of all things to crave it had to be lemons.

Elliot just squinted at her for a second as she popped a cut up piece of lemon into her mouth "Are you okay Liv?" he asked to her as she didn't seem to notice the expected sour taste of a lemon.

"Yeah I'm fine why?" she asked him as she popped another lemon slice into her mouth and she through the other one out.

He walked over to her fridge as he wanted a beer and knew that he would not get as smashed as he had been the other time he had drunken alcohol, he offered her one as she turned it down and he just opened it up and begun to drink "I du know Liv, you look great it's just…" he trailed off as he drunk from the bottle.

Olivia told herself it was probably the pregnancy the made her look great but also made her act strange in the eyes of her partner. She just had to find the pregnancy test so she could stop worrying and tell him in her own time.

After a further five minutes Olivia checked her watch as she realized the time and knew she had to call it quits now because it was getting pretty later already and they had an early morning ahead of them "Ah it's getting pretty late," she stated to him as he finished his beer and the she deduced that he had no intention of going home "Do you want to stay in the guest bedroom?" she asked Elliot as he put down his finished beer and knew he could not take up her offer.

"Nah I'll be fine," he said to her as he put the bottle in the bin and walked to the door.

"You can't get back in the precinct after it's shut, El just stay here for the night we all know you won't go home," she said to him as he tried to leave, she didn't particularly feel fine about him staying and finding her pregnancy test but she sure as hell was not going to let him sleep in his cold car.

Olivia brushed her teeth in the bathroom after he had decided to stay; she also searched around for the pregnancy test as she brushed her teeth knowing she wouldn't get another chance whilst he was around. She had searched everywhere but couldn't find it in the bathroom and then wondered where it could be if not there.

"Night," she said to him as she walked to her room and hoped she could get some sleep after her search had turned up nothing, but luckily enough she fell to sleep quickly.

In the dark of night Elliot creeps through the apartment not to wake Olivia as he needed to use the bathroom after the beer and opens the door quietly, stepping into the bathroom and relieves himself, a few minutes later stepping out as he quietly closes the door and notices something in the bin outside of the bathroom. He picks the pregnancy test out of the now empty garbage bag and has seen enough of them in his life time to know this one was saying someone was pregnant.

His stomach feels like it is in notes, he doesn't know how to respond as he drops it back into the bin.

Suddenly Olivia comes rushing out of her bed room as it looks like she is going to be sick and barges into the bathroom quickly before he hears a throwing up sound inside.

This just confirms more for Elliot that his partner is pregnant; he is not dim enough to ask if it is his or not because he already knows she would tell him it was. How was he supposed to respond to this, was she even going to tell him or just lie through her teeth to him he thought angrily. She would have told him he thought to himself as he tried to calm down, she probably just didn't know how after he had accused her of seduction.

He gave her some time to clean up before he entered the bathroom to talk to her as she looked up into his icy eyes "When were you going to tell me?" he asked to her as he could not seem to sound any easier on her.

"I du know… maybe never," she told him truthfully as she could see this pained him to hear.

With that said Elliot left the bathroom as Olivia then heard the distinct noise of the front door of her apartment being slammed shut making her want to puck all over again if she had any stomach contents left.

**Con crit always allowed.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

"Where's Olivia?" Elliot asked at the crime seen as he looked to Munch and Fin.

"She said she would take a few days off, she was feeling sick," Munch said to him as they looked around the abandoned alley.

"Oh," Elliot simply answered as he wondered if she was really feeling sick or she just didn't know how to face him and he once again hated himself for leaving her there.

Again he found himself in front on her door as he looked down at the floor and knocked listening to what was happening inside the apartment.

Olivia walked to the door as she reminded herself to check the peep hole before opening the door and when she did she instantly felt sick, she wanted to leave him standing there. She just didn't want him inside her apartment accusing her of things so she sat down in front of the door and lay her head against it closing her eyes and listening.

Elliot heard her do so, so he in turn sat up against the door and lay his head back just slightly to touch the wooden door "So we've come to this have we Liv?" he asked her softly wanting to know how they could have been such close friends and have it all fall from under them in the space of a night.

"Yeah," she replied softly.

"I'm really sorry Liv," he truthfully told her, he laid his arms on his knees and moves his head off the door to wrench down and look at the carpet.

"Me too," she says to him as she felt tiers bubble up in her closed eyes.

"It's not your fault Liv."

"You can't remember… I said yes," she said to him as she cried silently.

"Said yes to what Liv?" he enquired to her as he closely listened for an answer.

"That night you asked me and I said yes," she said as she now cried uncontrollably.

"What did I ask you Liv?" he asked as he begun to feel really confused, there could be a number of things he could have asked her but he didn't believe they would make her cry like she was at that moment. He wanted so badly to be in the apartment with her so he could comfort her and wipe her tiers away.

"I don't want to tell you," she said as she had trouble speaking through her rapid inhaling.

"Liv let me in," he said to her as he stood.

"No."

"Liv… please let me in," he said to her calmly as he just wanted to wrap his arms around her.

"No," she said as she abruptly stood, ran to her bedroom slamming the door and left him standing there.

Half an hour later when Olivia was sure he had left she lay in her bed as she quickly reached for her off duty weapon when she heard someone moving in her apartment. She stood as she pointed her fire arm ahead and walked out of her bedroom in the dark looking around her apartment with known precision. She quickly found the culprit as she told them to put there hand up, the shadow did so as she quickly walked to the light switch and turned the light on to see who it was in her apartment.

"Liv I'm sorry I just wanted to talk to you," Elliot said as he still had his hands in the air.

"What the hell, how'd you get in here?" she asked pointing her gun to him.

"Through the fire escape now can you put the gun down?"

"The safety's on anyway," she said as she put it down on the counter.

"I won't leave until you answer my questions," he said to her sharing eye contact.

"What does it matter anyway Elliot you were drunk," she said to him as she knew what he would ask her and wondered if her bedroom had a lock on it.

"I mustn't have been drunk enough not to ask," he said to her as he stepped closer to her from across the room.

"It wasn't just what you asked, it's what you said," she replied to him as she avoided his eyes.

"Tell me Liv," he said stepping closer and closer to her.

"Will you leave after I tell you?" she asked his as he was now only half a metre from her.

"If that's what you want Liv," he said looking down at her.

She felt so small compared to him, so weak and she just didn't want to be like that. She wanted to be strong but she just couldn't in his presents "You said…" she trailed off as she just couldn't say it with him staring down at her "Can you turn around?" she asked him as he then became very confused.

"I asked you to turn around?"

"No I just can't say it with you looking at me," she said to him as he thought and then turned away from her.

"You said that… that," she tried but failed again too say it as she just couldn't come up with the words.

"Yeah Liv," he said staring at something across the room.

"That-," she didn't get to say it when he cut in.

"I love you."

"Exactly," she said through new tiers "Then you asked me and… and I said yes," she told him as it felt like she was being stabbed to tell him something he didn't remember.

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I said yes," she replied to him as she only realized what he had been saying to her when he turned around and looked down at her.

"Can you leave now?" she asked him as once again she couldn't look into his eyes, she couldn't face that truth that soon enough he would leave her here all alone.

"I would Liv if that was what you wanted," he said looking down at her with new found clarity.

"It is what I want."

"No it's not," he said as he softly took her chin in his hand and made her face him, she looked into his eyes as she had cried away her tiers but not the pain "You want me to kiss you," he said to her as just a second passed before he stooped his head to her own and softly lay his lips upon hers.


End file.
